Super Bowl XLIII

I've been a crazy Steelers fan since the early 90's and about fell into shock when my brother-in-law (Chris Esteban) sent me an email inviting me to the Super Bowl. Chris went to the Super Bowl last year and saw his Giants upset the Patriots... So I don't know if it was out of a new found Super Bowl fever, a chance to share the joy with the biggest Steeler fan he knew, because I was a good husband to his little sister or just that an opportunity to get face value tickets surfaced .... Whatever the reason, he scored brother-in-law of the year honors (Sorry Jeff, Alex, Dan and Tim... Good luck in 2010) when I received that email inviting me to go. All the pieces fell in to place and after a smooth plane ride on Saturday morning I'm standing in front of very large roman numerals. It is bizarre to think that someone out there, when asked what they do for a living, can say, "I make really big letters. Seriously. They're huge."

The NFL Experience

This is an area they set up outside the stadium where you wait in line to do things you can do in your own backyard without waiting in line. That said, there is something about doing football things in front of football fans that gets your blood pumping. I can't explain it much better than, nobody wants to suck.

Punt / Pass / Kick

This was our first event and Chris and I both rocked it. You'll notice he 'conveniently' stops the camera before I'm done, so the final 'combined distance' winner cannot be calculated ;) Though, truth be told, he is clearly the passing distance winner between us which became more apparent in the Pass / Pass / Pass event.

Claude's attempt



Chris's attempt




Pass / Pass / Pass

If I had any dreams of a talent scout walking by and giving me a nod as if to say, "Hey, kid, you've got some talent..." they were immediately dashed with this event. A QB, I am not..... The video doesn't do justice to how pitiful my attempt was.

Chris, on the other hand, was solid. He would have hit the back of the net if the guy hadn't caught it. It would have been all the more impressive if he hadn't spent the next few hours complaining about tearing various muscles in the attempt ;)

Claude's attempt



Chris's attempt




Kick / Kick

Kicking was fun. My first was virtually perfect.... The second sailed right. Chris's first one had the distance but missed right. The second .... well, let's focus on how close the first one was. I'll spare you the full footage... but here was my first attempt which was all the more impressive for having done it sideways.



Other pics from the NFL Experience

This is someone we chatted with on the line for Punt / Pass / Kick. She told us that she lived in Boston and was rooting hard for the Patriots. So I asked her, "Oh, so are you a Cardinals fan?" She just stared her red an yellow bird face at me.... What I meant was, "Who is your real team the Patriots or the Cardinals?" but, still, I felt pretty silly staring at her beak with my question lingering in the air.

Michael Strahan was at the experience and I was amused when a heckler was trying to give him some attitude. He replied, 'My teeth look like this because of playing professional football. What's your excuse?" He then said something like, "Don't mess with a man whose spent 20 years in a locker room." The heckler held his tongue from that moment on :)
Naturally, you have to find a way to take the picture of yourself as a Steeler. I tried to put on my 'don't mess with me' face. But my kids do that face much better than I do. :)

There were other things to do there such as see an NFL film about the Super Bowl which, by the way, completely pumps you up. That was where I got my first demonstration of the fan base composition of Super Bowl XLIII. There were maybe 100 people watching the film. When they showed Steeler plays, huge cheers went up. Given that we were in Tampa, when the Bucs made the reel, a modest but not insignificant cheer made itself heard. When a Cardinal highlight made it on screen, both Cardinal fans said, 'Yay!'. God bless em' for trying.


Cardinals and Cheerleaders

Chris suggested we stalk some of the fancy hotels as they might be where the players were staying. First try was the Hyatt and BINGO, the players were staying there.... well.... Not all the players.... I actually found myself in enemy territory....
That being said, the enemy was quite friendly. I had several good interactions with Cardinal fans and some of them were just downright nice. One Cardinal fan wished the Steelers luck in the men's room while washing up. He said, "What we want most is a good game where everybody leaves the game healthy." I agreed, wished him luck and exchanged a friendly pat on the back. Reflecting back, given where I was (home base for the Cardinals and their family) I must have been chatting with someone who will be much more worried about the health of the players than the outcome of a stupid game. You don't really think much about how much of a stress this game puts on the family and friends of players.... Sure you think about it a little watching Jerry McGuire or when they bring out the cart during the game.... but chatting with someone living it makes much more of an impression.

In any case, if the Cardinals had a significant advantage over the Steelers it was with cheerleading. The score was 30 gorgeous women to 0. Certainly the big score of the hotel was that a couple of Cardinal cheerleaders were out and about mingling with the crowd. As you can see they weren't fans of my Steeler shirt but they couldn't cover up the hat and towel :)


The Steelers this year did have a new mascot... Steeley McBeam. He seems nice enough but I'll trade him away in heartbeat for the second string Cardinal cheerleaders. In any case, I chose not to pass up a photo op with Steeley before the game.

The Pre Game

We got into the stadium at about 4PM and checked out our seats. RIDICULOUSLY AWESOME...... Some people say the 50 is where it's at... But I say there is no substitute for seeing the action around the goal line.... Not only that ..... But the Arizona cheeleaders were right in front of us... you can thank Chris for the following pictures....

Now how do you expect anyone to concentrate on football with this going on?????? I'm considering a new career as a member of the NFL Films crew...




Ahem..... ANYWAY...... Other pre-game shots....

Ben sending a football close to me in warm ups....


A confused, but clever, fan....


If you want to hear the difference between what the stadium sounded like when the Cardinals were introduced and when the Steelers were introduced watch the following.... What can I say? ... Steelers fans travel well.

Steelers introduced.....

Cardinals introduced.....

THE GAME

And we were finally ready for the game... Quite honestly.... Some folks talk about the stadium being 'Electric' or there being an overwhelming sense of energy..... But from the perspective of the energy producer you don't really feel that. I just did my part as a good electron should and screamed my head off at all appropriate opportunities .... Including kickoff of Super Bowl XLIII

The stadium was filled with fans who were too excited to sit for most of the game. The guy right in front of me clearly wanted to stand for each play but apparently didn't have the stamina for the long haul so in an effort to conserve his energy would pop up like some kind of Jack in the Box on every snap and seemed almost pulled into his seat at the end of each tackle. Well, I wasn't going to miss every play because this guy was playing the mole in the 'Whack a mole' game, so I just stood. Some guy a few rows back tried in vain to get me and a few others to sit with the ol' , "Down in front!". The second time he said it, I just turned and said, "Hey! This is the SUPER BOWL.... UP IN BACK!" He didn't try again after that :)

Overall, the game seemed to be going well... The Steelers could move the ball easily but weren't exactly pulling away either (settling for a field goal form the 1 inch line hurt a little bit). Then the Cardinals got a turnover as the end of the half neared when the score was Steelers 10 Cardinals 7 and were knocking on the door with the clock ticking down... I was figuring they'd score and the Cardinals would go into the half up 4 (10-14) .... MAYBE we'd get lucky and hold them to a field goal and go in tied at 10... Never in my thoughts did I think the biggest play of the Super Bowl XLIII could happen.... Chris had the presence of mind to capture the moment from the Fan's perspective... He stopped recording after the first half of the runback because it was getting too far away... but you get the gist..... The stadium exploded....



Instead of going into the half Steelers 10 Cardinals 14.... James Harrison collapsed over the goal line with no time left giving the Steelers a 17 to 7 lead. Without that play, I doubt the Steelers win.

Halftime

Great halftime show..... I was never a huge Springsteen fan, but I like him well enough.... After the show... I like him a little more :) He has a great time on stage and it shows. More than one person asked me if I was able to go on the field with Bruce. The fact is that Bruce brought his own crowd. They just came pouring out of the tunnel and went out the way they came. Bizarre.





















Back to the game...

The third quarter was a good one for my general cardiovascular health. At the end of it, the Steelers were up 20-7 and I was preparing for a nice stress-free stroll into into championship inevitability... But, as you know, the Cardinals had other ideas. When Fitzgerald scored his second touchdown to take the lead, I found out that it wasn't only Steeler fans in the stadium... The quiet, subdued and stealthy Cardinal fans produced a little eruption of their own and I got a taste of what I had been looking like to them for 57 minutes of the game.....

People asked what it felt like when the Cardinals took the lead. The answer is a mixture of emotions.... 1 part inevitability (the way the Cards were playing it seemed like they were going to find a way to get some points) 1 part resolve (The Steelers have come back in the 4th quarter all year against opponents and in my mind the biggest and most comforting thought I had was, "If they could drive the field on the Ravens to win it, they could do it to the Cardinals) and 10 parts 'I might just pee my pants' .

.... One tipped pass..... One bad pass.... One fumble ..... One tremendous defensive play .... and the whole season is lost. It was like seeing the Steelers chance at victory as a soap bubble floating through a class of toddlers. One good poke and the fun is over. (Sorry, I have three kids... these are the analogies I think of first).

The game winning drive was a backyard football thing of beauty leading to the game winning 'on both toes' catch.... Though in classic modern style... we had to wait to 'officially' celebrate until the guys in the booth deemed it so...

Here is the catch.....


Here is the unbridled joy ....

Special Thanks

I had an unbelievable time and still can't believe I had this once in a lifetime opportunity. This type of thing happens to other people and I'm still in shock that I was a part of it. Not only did my team win the Super Bowl but it was one of the greatest games of all time. I couldn't have done it without the support of a few people.... First, of course, is Brother in law of the year winner, Chris Esteban.... you so rock. Thanks for pulling this together my friend. It has been two weeks and I'm still grinning.

I had the incredible support of my wife, Sheri, who held down the fort while I ran away to Florida for the weekend. She was unbelievable in how supportive she was and with how well she handled the many curveballs the weekend threw her. I love and appreciate her all the more each and every day. Thanks Babe.

Lastly, it wouldn't have been nearly as fun without my own little team of Steeler fans supporting me... Thanks Aidan, Jessica and Ben!!!!!!!!!

Embarassing moment #3 - Home plumbing

In an ongoing effort to upgrade my downstairs bathroom, I turned my attention to the shower which is, hands down, the biggest eyesore of the house. It isn't newly ugly either. The previous owner used this shower for her kitty litter box and it was barely fit for that. Well, I have big plans. I plan on putting up new laminate on the sides for that nice new shiny feeling and upgrading the faucet handles because, well, they suck. That would make a huge difference in the bathroom and bring up the house value by minimally $50,000 (at least in my eyes).

So, firstly, I go to remove the handles. I find the little screw that holds them on and try to pull them off. Trouble is, years of calcification (and who knows what) has built up and they don't come off despite being screwless... So I call my plumber friend for advice. He tells me to get this penetrating spray and give it a pull. So, I do just that and PRESTO.... they come off. Bolstered by this success, I decide to remove the decorative face plates that are over top of the stems..... I dig at it... I pull at it.... I spray more penetrating spray on it..... These face plates won't budge. Finally, I get the idea that they might be screwed in.

I get my wrench and apply some torque. WOO HOO! That is the answer. It begins to unscrew. ...... twist ........ twist ........ twist...... My forming vision of the conquering hero is rudely interrupted with a minor explosion....... BAAAM! What I had THOUGHT was a decorative face plate was in fact a face plate/stem combination.... And, in case you don't know, the stem is the only thing between you and a high pressure and unstoppable hot water geyser. The advice I can give you now is before you start ANY plumbing project... heck, even if you aren't starting a plumbing project.... JUST FOR YOUR OWN EDIFICATION..... know where your house water shut of is. Please do so before you do what I did which is, to put it succinctly, freak my shit.

The first thing I tried to do after being momentarily frozen by the absurd scene was to attempt to jam the stem back in. The only reason I didn't give myself severe burns in the attempt is that it really doesn't take long to empty your hot water heater when you essentially open the high pressure floodgates. MOST of the water was contained within the shower.... that was, at least, until I tried my fruitless jamming efforts. It essentially had the effect of putting your thumb on the end of the garden hose. You can't stop it... you can only make it spray harder and farther. So now I've succeeded in getting myself and the bathroom soaked and wasted enough time that the water is starting to build up in the shower because no drain made could keep up with the home version of a spewing hydrant.

Enter panic mode. I fly out of the bathroom in search of the valve that shuts off my house water. I start at the furnace and move a few knobs that look promising. The continuous drone of water spraying that could still be heard clearly from the bathroom told me that I was on the wrong track. I sprint to our 'Bar room' (which over the years has become our storage room). I crushed boxes of old clothes, destroyed a few phased out toys and, I think, developed several bruises on my shins plowing my way to the back of the bar, based on the vague memory that there are knobs back there that might be promising. I find some knobs and I twist ..... Nothing.....

My pride being drowned, much less swallowed, I call my plumber (nicest guy in the world). He was at my house once, like 5 years ago. I tell him I messed with magic I didn't understand and a possessed stemless valve is threatening to flood my house and he says, "Relax, I think the house shut off was behind that bar of yours.".... So I go back and check the one cabinet under the bar I didn't check before and there it is in all of its glory. I give it a twist and hear the beautiful silence that was, at least in my world, the end of Armageddon.

Tragedy averted, I replace the stem, turn the water back on, burp the house and all is well.... for now. But know this..... A little bit of knowledge is dangerous for me.... Knowing what I know now...... I will not let this shower have the last word..... so stay tuned.

And I owe my plumber big time.

Embarassing moment #2 - The Fribble

High School went by fairly quickly for me except for a few moments which have stuck in my memory like pit stains on a comfortable tee shirt. Like embarrassing moment #1, this one takes place in 1987 but stateside and in a Friendly’s restaurant. Friendly’s, for those unfamiliar with the regional chain, is a restaurant whose main attraction is a large assortment of frozen treats.

I had worked there for what seemed like years teenage-time (which translates into two summers real person time) and I had worked there long enough to look the part. I had my standard issue polyester pants, neatly tucked in matching polyester shirt, a developing Popeye forearm on my ‘scooping arm’ and a little badge proudly displaying my rank in the organization by the number of tiny ice cream cones beneath my name. If I recall correctly, and I highly doubt that I do, I was a two cone crew member. Considering you get one cone for successfully watching a video, I clearly wasn’t very high on the frozen food chain.

I had been working fountain, which means I worked the desserts. This ranged from the Crowd Pleaser (a short lived promotional 8 scoop experiment in gluttony) to single scoop ice cream cones. Somewhere on that continuum lies the shakes category. While ice cream parlors all over the world were satisfied with simply tweaking the original recipe of ice cream + milk + syrup, Friendly’s was busy innovating. After what I’m sure was grueling months in the lab and extensive market research, they invented THE FRIBBLE (Which is the same thing as a milk shake but make with’ ice milk’ instead of ‘ice cream’, flavored only by the syrup).

Truth be told, a milk shake and a Fribble were, at their core, similarly delicious with Fribbles being a little sweeter. The real difference, however, came with consistency. I don’t pretend to understand ice milk at the molecular level, but as far as thick shakes were concerned, ice milk contained some serious thickness mojo.

I’m a big fan of thick shakes and accordingly I had become a master at creating the extra thick Fribble. With ice milk already making a thicker than normal milk shake, that is like saying that I was a master at making extra hard cement. The Friendly’s Fribble recipe called for 3 scoops of ice milk, but as a Fribble artiste, I laughed at their 3-scoop suggestion. You could easily pack 7 scoops into that mixing frappe, saving just enough space to drizzle in the milk and syrup.

On this fateful day I had concocted what I had deemed at the time to be ‘Fribble perfection’ for my 15 minute break. It was the craziest makes-molasses-look-runny Fribble that I had ever created. The mixing machine almost ground to a halt straining against the compressed ice milk. It ended up being so thick that I didn’t even insult it by bringing a straw with me to the break area.

The ‘break area’ at this particular Friendly’s, interestingly enough, was an unused table out with the other customers. In retrospect, I’m not sure why anybody thought this was a good idea. Crew members would spread out various things on the table, carry on and generally be disgusting. This would be like me inviting guests to my home only to have my underwear hanging out to dry in a line across my living room. But I digress….

So I sat down in my break booth and let the clanking, slurping, chattering and bustling of patrons and wait staff alike melt away as, just for a moment, I marveled at my Fribble's beauty...

(Please excuse the strawberryness of this Fribble picture, I can’t seem to find an online picture of a chocolate Fribble.)

After completing my moment of appreciation, I slowly tilted the Fribble to my waiting lips intending to savor every drop from start to finish and….

Nothing happened. The Fribble didn’t move at all. Acting much more like a solid than any shake I’d ever made or even seen, the smooth plane of the fribble was unphased by my modest tilt of the glass. Well, not to be intimidated by my beverage, I got more serious with my angle and brought it to about 90 degerees…

Amazingly, all that happened was more nothing, which, quite honestly, looked rather freakish. I had never seen the surface of a drink remain intact and unmoved with the glass clearly in spill position. I was actually rather amused by the silliness of it. Here is where I have to admit that my actions, if they haven’t already, deviated from a ‘reasonable person’s’ behavior. A reasonable person might say, “Hey, look at this! Cool. I think I’ll get a spoon.” Not being a reasonable person, I continued to tilt the glass...

Now the Fribble was being down right ridiculous. Instead of sliding down neatly onto my eager taste buds, it chose to make a mockery of Sir Iaasic Newton. Well, now I was starting to get impatient. I’d spent a precious 2 minutes of my break and I hadn’t yet begun to enjoy my Fribble. So, in a move that defies both logic and reason, accessing my ketchup bottle skills, I reached up to the bottom of the cup with my free hand and did a little … tap tap.

The next thing I heard was this...

As for what it looked like, I can’t tell you because my vision was quickly blurred, but a rubbernecking waitress (her name was Denise) dropping a tray of food due to an uncontrollable fit of the giggles should give you some indication of the spectacle’s immediate impact.

The bulk of the load hit my face and slid down my front with an opportunistic portion channeling its way into the collar of my shirt. The immediate shock of cold against my skin made me stand up quickly. While standing there, essentially frozen but freaking out on the inside, my neatly tucked in shirt proved to be an ideal funnel for a large amount of chocolate ice milk to flow directly into my no longer tidy whities.

What I can tell you first hand, is that if you are feeling lethargic and need to sharpen up your senses quickly, forget coffee. Just pour an ice cold Fribble on your junk. Not only does the world start to appear in bullet time slow motion but, as a bonus, your legs are well lubricated to give you that extra burst of speed.

In any case, you’ll likely not be surprised to learn that I had not packed a fresh pair of underwear with me to work that day. And it’s not like they had a special provision in the Friendly’s handbook, for idiots who Fribble themselves, to run home and freshen up. If they did, ‘Fribbling’ would become part of everyday work-speak. As in, “It was completely insane in there, I had no choice but to Fribble myself.” Or to a very close co-worker, “What do you say we Fribble ourselves out of here and clean the ice milk out of each others hard to reach areas.”

No, it doesn’t work that way. Instead, I had to slosh my way over to the utility sink leaving a crime scene like trail of chocolate behind me. I used the remaining 13 minutes of my break to sop up what I could and spent the remainder of my shift with shirt and pants branded with the glacial path. If you think scooping ice cream to long waiting customers is tough, trying doing it with Fribble soaked underwear and every other customer trying to find a way to ask me what happened. These comments ranged from the obvious, "What happened to you?" to the more creative, "They really should give you more bathroom breaks."

As for Denise, the waitress, and the rest of my crew members who share this memory, I take comfort in knowing that despite the hard hours and the low pay of the food services industry, everyone who got to work with me that day got a memory and a story that they will take with themselves long after their Friendly’s money is gone. I know that is true for me in any case.

Until next time...

Claude

Embarassing moment #1 - Soviet Union

My life is filled with embarrassing moments and I inexplicably find myself voluntarily sharing them. Perhaps it is a noble attempt to warn those who are teetering on the brink of being an idiot and haven’t yet decided to take the plunge but, in truth, I think it is just an attempt to let you know that as bad as your day is, it could be worse.

In high school I was part of the chorale (which is a fancy way of saying that I was in chorus) and we were given the opportunity to sing in the Soviet Union. This was 1987 when the cold war was only recently thawed. It was a wonderful experience and I met some really interesting people, but the best part about it was that I was going on a week long sleepover party with some of the hottest girls in the school.

Mind you, I’m no ladies man, but I had one thing going for me. This was mid-wrestling season. I had rock hard abs and I wasn’t afraid to use them. If I could have found a way to show them off and impress just one of our traveling nymphs, I’d be set. But, unfortunately, real life isn’t filled with those soap opera moments of ‘Excuse me, do you mind if I change out of this while we continue our conversation?’

Much to my surprise and delight, however, a situation had developed one cold night in a Leningrad hotel. A bunch of us were up late talking about nothing as teenagers are wont to do. As for exactly who was there, my brain in the intervening years has narrowed it down to ‘A bunch of people and Tammy Wolfarth’. Tammy was, to my teenage brain, a walking brain aneurysm. By that I mean that any time she might say something to me, all brain activity stopped and I was left with little more than incoherent babble and a small voice in my head that said nothing more than, ‘Did you just say that? What a loser.’

ANYWAY, somebody had asked me if they could please punch me in the stomach. As oddly polite and sadistic as that sounds, it made sense to me. You see, on rare occasion, I had allowed people to do this before because, excuse the lack of modesty, in the peak of wrestling season they were more likely to get hurt than me. Interestingly, that little voice in my head was delighted. I could impress Tammy and I wouldn’t even have to speak. Plan formed.

So I let (blurry memory from my past) punch me in the stomach. It makes an impressive THUNK and I chance a glance at Tammy. To my great surprise, she seems intrigued. I tell blurry memory to do it again. And he does. Tammy comes over. Fighting through the aneurysm I manage to say, “Hey Tammy.” Little voice was quite impressed with my almost causal greeting.

‘Hey’ she says.

‘You want to give it a try?’ Little voice ponders and thinks that this is a good move. Minimal talking while showing her first hand what a washboard feels like.

A little hesitant at first but curious, she says, “OK”

Keep in mind that I’m not the least bit concerned for myself here. First of all, blurry memory hit me twice as hard as she could have even if she went to the same pharmacy as Barry Bonds . She was five foot three tops and I would be surprised if her weight was measured in 3 digits. That said, she made a good show of it. She put down her water glass, rolled up her sleeves and assumed a passable boxers bounce before saying, “Ready?”

I had never been so ready for anything in my life. My abs were contracted so hard I was afraid she was going to break every bone in her little hand, but I didn’t care. This was my moment to shine. This was my moment to prove to her that I had the stuff to at least make her consider me. Unfortunately, as her fist came to a stop on my abs, it was also my moment to pass some gas.

The little voice laughed himself to death.

If I were cool, I could have said, “I meant to say pull my finger.” And played it off like a small joke.

If I were quicker, I could have said, “Tammy! So not cool.”

But, much to my chagrin, I’m neither cool nor quick. I stood there like a deer that had farted in the headlights. Not sure if that damages the car in any way, but if the car vent isn’t on recycle, the occupants are in for a treat.

Tammy was almost as embarrassed as me. She slinked away while blurry memories all around me laughed till they were sore. In retrospect, I have to concede the humor, but at the time though, my teenage self would have given away his new commodore 128 for a chance to turn back time for 10 seconds.

I’d like to say that this was an isolated incident and I never embarrassed myself again. I’d also like to say that I’m the supreme ruler of the universe. Sadly for me, and lucky for the universe, neither of these are true. Until next time…..

Claude